It’s weird to have a multicultural experience and not know which culture you’re experiencing. But that was Istanbul’s Ethnosports competition. I’ve since homeworked my way to a general idea of the origins of each of the events we saw, but as experienced it was like wandering randomly through a YouTube channel. I’m sure there was a schedule of events that could have decoded what we were seeing, but we never found it. Instead, we enjoyed four hours of non-stop entertainment under the Istanbul summer sun. Thanks to our efforts, you get to enjoy it in the shade.

Oil Wrestling

Thirty countries were represented at Ethnosports, but Oil Wrestling is Turkey’s contribution to the art form. Folks have been oil wrestling for 4,500 years. Which is exactly what it looks like. It’s the sports version of a primordial forest.

Before the rasslin’ starts there’s a ritualized parade. Kind of like when moose stomp the ground to intimidate other moose.

YouTube makes me check a box on uploads declaring them “Safe for kids.” I checked yes, but I suppose it depends on how the kid in question feels about gladiator movies.

I was surprised by how slow it was. My only other experience with oil wrestling was in a strip club, and that was greased lightning by comparison. Although, to be fair, I don’t believe the emphasis there was on winning. I didn’t actually stay to the end of the match. While I’m sure the subtleties sing to devotees, it wasn’t exactly action packed.

Oodarysh

Also called Er Enish, it’s wrestling on horseback from Kyrgyzstan. I’m sorry it wasn’t horse wrestling. How much would you pay to watch horses wrestle? Cock fighting would be relegated to the ash heap of illicit sports history if anyone could figure out how to get horses to wrestle.

While this was also a little on the slow side, it did make me marvel at the logistics of putting on an event like this. You don’t Oodarysh on just any old horse. That horse is trained. So unlike, say track and field, where you’re packing your shoes, you have to pack your horse to attend this shindig. We’re having trouble figuring out how to ship a box from Istanbul to Chicago. Getting a horse from Kyrgyzstan to Istanbul? No thank you.

The funny thing about this is that we did watch it to the end, and it just appeared to stop. Perhaps there was some subtle rules violation that ended the match, but as far as we could tell the guy with hair just dismounted and they walked off. He appeared to be done.

Shalwar Wrestling

Another Turkish ethnosport, Shalwar Wrestling is named for the shorts, which are the only uniform. The participants are barefoot and otherwise exposed. The pace on these bouts was decidedly spritelier than the oil wrestling and the Oodarysh. It felt more like actual wrestling, while still looking plenty odd.

It started with the children’s division…

Moved on to teenagers…

And finished with adults.

According to Wikipedia, “Defeat is the belly that sees the sky.” Isn’t it just? I wish I’d understood that when we were watching, but I feel like I’ve always known.

Mounted Archery

Although it’s practiced all over the world, Mounted Archery is another Turkish sport. It originated in the Eurasian Steppe in the second millennium BC, although its current form was perfected by the Ottomans as a type of military training. It encompasses a variety of trick shots, most of which involve shooting arrows while riding a horse that’s running very fast.

The most famous of those is the Parthian Shot, which involves shooting at a target behind you while racing forward on your horse. They also shoot at tin plates atop long poles, maybe 20′ tall (you can see that on the still in the video below). We witnessed them using a sword to slice a watermelon while galloping at full speed. Unfortunately, I can imagine what that’s training for. One rider chased another and shot an arrow at the shield on the leader’s back. Successfully, in every attempt we witnessed, at least.

Kökbörü?

Honestly, I’m not 100% sure this is Kökbörü. Of the sports listed on the festival’s web site, this seemed closest. Yet another Turkish sport, Kökbörü is traditionally played with a dead goat as the ball, with horsemen chasing each other like hell and trying to get the goat into their opponent’s goal.

I think the chew toy the riders are fighting over in the clip below is a family friendly stand-in for a dead goat, and, since the field was used for multiple sports, the bales of hay stood in for the goals.

Or it could be something completely different. I’ve posted this to YouTube and tagged it as Kökbörü, so now I guess it’s a fact. It’s fitting that I’m not even sure what sport it is, as I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what was going on while we watched.

Kökbörü, if that’s what it is, is pretty popular, played, if that’s the word, in Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Mongolia, Tajikistan, and Afghanistan. Because lots and lots of spare goats.

Arts & Crafts

It wasn’t all ethnosports. There were tons of booths with amazing, crafts and each country had its own booth showing off their heritage or offering tasty snacks for free. There were even booths spread out over the grounds offering free water. We got sandwiches at one of the food kiosks for about $2 each. That and the free water may have been the craziest things there. Don’t they understand that gouging is the entire point of a festival? Maybe Live Nation could take over and run things properly.

Did Dorothy buy anything at the craft stalls? Oh, you.

Sadly, that was all of the ethnosports we could handle. There was plenty more we missed, but we were pretty cooked after four hours in the sun. And more than grateful for what we were able to see. We’ve seen videos of this kind of thing, but it was an amazing experience to witness it all firsthand.