Beach Blanket Java
Having discovered in Bali that Dorothy is actually a mermaid, it became incumbent upon us to make sure she stayed moist. Apparently, a couple of weeks is as long as she can go out of the ocean before her flippers start to dry out, so we made our way to Java’s closest beach, about an hour-and-a-half drive south of Yogyakarta.
The Google search was best beginner snorkeling near Yogyakarta, which gave us Pantai (beach) Sadranan. The closest accommodations were at Pantai Krakal, a mere ten minute walk away. We booked for three nights, which would give us two full, uninterrupted days.
The whole area is a long stretch of beaches, each with its own name and, supposedly, identity, but it felt like one Long Beach occasionally interrupted by volcanic rock outcroppings. Sadranan was supposed to have the calmest waters and the best snorkeling in the area, so we figured to spend most of our time there.
Our hotel was the Royal Joglo, which was a notch or two below royal. Charming and fine, but scarcely royal.
The lodge. 
My sister Nef had the bungalow right next door. 
And a pool! For when we didn’t get enough ocean. 
Not, surprisingly, a model of the moon, but rather the heroically unround cue ball from the pool table. Which also had only 12 balls. And a gravity well in the middle of the table. 
Our adopted kitten, who I named Kucing. I’ve named all of our temporary cats Kucing, which is Indonesian for cat. Pretty clever, no?
Like most beach communities everywhere, the beaches were a hive of small restaurants, or warungs. Weirdly, they were almost all completely closed. I don’t know when season is down there, but we were pretty clearly off-season. We struggled to find lunch and had dinner at the same warung, right next to our hotel, all three nights. We weren’t expecting a beach visit to induce food insecurity.
The seemingly deserted stretch of warungs right on our beach. They went on for quite a distance. 
The deserted interior of one. On our last day, looking for lunch, we passed it while a guy was dusting coconuts in front. On a hunch I stopped and asked him if they were open, and he dug up a menu. So maybe they were all open all along? 
The delicious, freshly grilled fish we got there. What food there was, by the way, was super cheap. Each of those fish, which was a whole lunch, was $1.20. 
Our second day’s lunch venue, where we also had to ask if they were open. They were. Maybe it was us. 
Good food, no tables. 
Our every night, next door dinner venue. Everything was cooked over a tiny charcoal grill, and was super tasty. Maybe it tasted so good because we were just grateful to have found dinner.
Mostly we stayed on the beach, but we also walked along the main road one day to get to Pantai Sadranan and enjoyed the lush, tropical flora.
Outside the hotel, however, it was raining with gusty winds. On arrival, we walked the few feet from our hotel to the beach to see what was going on, and it was pretty wild. Surf was definitely up. Not in a run-for-your-life sort of way, but definitely less than inviting.
So… no snorkeling. And while we refused to skip swimming altogether, we did have to experiment to find the calmest of the troubled waters. But those waters, if ill disposed to swimming, were spectacular. We may have missed the snorkeling, but we topped out on the majestic, terrifying power of… OCEAN!
Plus, it was pretty.
Here’s a beautiful overview of Pantai Krakal. It doesn’t really scream “Hey, let’s swim!” On the other hand, this really captures the heartbreaking shade of turquoise as the waves crest.
And here’s a great view of the power of SURF (OCEAN‘s cousin).
Even with rough surf, though, the tidepooling and beachcombing were excellent.
Pools Of Tide & Combs Of Beach
The defining feature of the beach was the sand, which was composed of tiny round beads of coral and shell, like limestone couscous. The beads were large enough that they didn’t compact, like normal beach sand. A step could sink your foot six inches or more. It’s also one of the reasons the water is so clear, as even the pounding surf can’t dissolve the sand into solution. The little beads are too heavy and just sink back down, leaving the water beautifully transparent.
The rain was rarely heavy, so we were able to swim pretty much whenever we wanted. Once you’re wet, you’re wet. But the tidepooling and beachcombing were best done in the sunshine, and there was enough so that we got to do both every day we were there. The swimming was best at high tide and the tidepooling and beachcombing were best at low tide. The days were just packed.
The Beach
The volcanic rock outcroppings divide the beaches, either into discrete stretches or small coves. Other rocks just sit on the beach like sentinels.
The volcanic structures are beautiful. 
Like fingerpainting with molten stone. 
This what-could-possibly-go-wrong footbridge led to a little hill surmounted by… 
This windswept, spumeswept lookout covered in… polished ceramic tiles. What could possibly go wrong? 
It’s not just shells and bits. There are plenty of substantial chunks of coral dotting the beaches. 
Pandanus fruit just falls from the trees, both ripe, and… 
Unripe.
Of course, the entire point of combing the beach is to collect loot. And there was Loot Galore (my favorite Bond girl), a dragon’s hoard of shell and coral treasures, rescued moments before, one imagines, being ground into beach sand. Quite the haul. All the cowries are meant for a necklace-to-be.
The Pools
The beaches had, for the most part, long sloping approaches with the coral sand topping rock flats. At high tide the water was deep enough to swim with sand underfoot, and at low tide the rocks were exposed for tidepooling.
When we first stopped at the pools they looked empty, which seemed odd. But slowing down and staring revealed wonders, not the least of these being what Google identified as fireworms. I was all about skipping about the tidepools willy-nilly until we saw these fellows. And that was before Google flagged them as venomous. So. Feet were carefully placed.
They live tail end in holes and snake their heads out to venomously forage. Like even creepier eels.
Those might have been the most terrifying thing we saw, but hardly the only wonders. There was this mysterious hole. I kept waiting for something to pop out, but it never happened.
And this adorable little fellow, who was about the size of a currant.
Our Cove
We found the ideal beach just a short walk from our hotel. Still part of Pantai Krakal, we found a little crescent cove, perfectly shaped to funnel the violent surf to a soft landing.
There’s a sharp drop-off just behind the shallow rock shelf. At low tide, that drop-off swallows the breakers, robbing them of energy as they roll to the beach. At high tide, the waves break over that transition, so they have more power when they reach shore. Here it is at low tide, the waves gently rolling in.
Here’s a better view of the strength of the waves. I know there’s a lot of video of surf here, but I just find it mesmerizing. I could stare at waves for hours. Without drugs. But you don’t have to. Just don’t click the Start button.
Swimming there at high tide, I stood in chest high water facing the beach, waiting for a wave large enough to crash into my back and send me hurtling shoreward. Like bodysurfing, with a top note of Keystone Kops. And the closest thing to a roller coaster I’ll ever enjoy.
4×4 Jeep Tour
This shouldn’t have been much fun. It was just a couple of hours of driving around to different beaches crammed into a 4×4 all-terrain jeep. Look-around, no swimming, back in the jeep, on to the next beach. But we wanted to do something other than splash in the surf, which sounds stupid when I say it out loud, and we figured it would be fun enough.
We were mistaken. It was riotously fun, from the kidney-jarring 4×4 to the occasional rain shower. It was entertaining start to finish, with each of the beaches having a distinct character. It could have been an all day tour with time for swimming, but now I’m just being a little bitch. It was great.
It must have been a slow day, with stormy weather and the off-season colliding, as our driver interpreted our two-hour itinerary generously. We took three hours and unscheduled stops.
Each beach had its own distinct flavor, either through their natural differences or the evolving light based on time of day and the fast-changing weather conditions.
Pantai Watulawang
Our first stop was a wild stretch of beach with some powerful surf.
Pantai Sundak
A beautiful beach with amazing light, but whatever. The highlight was the stalls selling seafood gorengen, fried bits of aquatic deliciousness.
Pantai Sepanjang
When will it stop? Another beautiful beach.
Some powerful surf at Sepanjang.
Pantai Baron’s Lighthouse
Pantai Baron is unique in this stretch of beaches in that it also has a freshwater spring that has made its own lake. We didn’t go down to the beach, but there’s a lighthouse on the cliff overlooking Baron, providing a spectacular view.
The view from a hotel right on the cliff. I’d have paid money to use that infinity pool. 
The freshwater lake is used as a marina. 
Curiously, there’s a black sand beach, rare for this part of Java’s coast, right next door. 
Volcanic rocks have been carefully stacked to make a stepped garden. It must have been a bitch to turn those irregularly shaped stones into stable retaining walls.
Pantai Mesra
The light at this beach was beautiful.
Pantai Krakal Vista Point
Just above Our Cove was a vista point that permitted a 360° view. It had an enormous yellow fish sculpture at the top, because why wouldn’t it?
We got to see Our Cove from above, which was a treat, as were the panoramic views of the beaches and rocky coastline from that height.
The other side of the vista point from Our Cove featured a truly wild, completely dangerous assemblage of water and rocks, with a very drownable profile.
Home Again
We’d worked through groceries before leaving on our adventure, so we went out to dinner when we got back, even though a home-cooked meal would have been welcome. Rather than the same old noodles or rice, we found a restaurant that specialized in gudeg, a jackfruit curry with chicken, or ayam in Indonesian, and dried cow skin.
Prompting my very first Indonesian dad joke: Who’s a gudeg? Ayam.
It’s true, by the way. Ayam a very gudeg.